There are a number of studies on this.

The human mind is wired to respond to scarcity by “tunneling” in to the thing that’s missing, always to the detriment of everything else.

For someone living in poverty, the lack of money becomes the only thing he can think about.

This is an evolutionary instinct – scarcity fills the mind with thoughts of the thing you do not have.

The same is true for love.

If you’re a single guy who has not been in a relationship for months or even years, scarcity will take over and your mind will continually think about being alone.

“I’m never going to meet anyone”

“Why don’t women like me?”

This is normal but clearly counter-productive.

When you do go on a date, you become so preoccupied with making a good impression, you can’t pay full attention to your date.

The conversation falters.

Instead of being seen as likeable, you’re viewed as awkward or desperate.

A scarcity of love makes you less capable of attracting love.

That’s the scarcity trap!

So what can you do about it?

For starters – get out of the tunnel.

Your mind wants to focus only on the immediate scarcity, the lack of love and companionship.

You can counter this by shifting your thoughts away from the scarcity and toward more hopeful thoughts.

“I’m temporarily alone”

“This won’t last”

“My next girlfriend is waiting for me”

You’ll have to repeat this replacement thought.  Better yet, write it down and post it on your mirror so you’ll see it every day but that’s how you escape the scarcity trap!

 

 

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