The space-between is a key concept in Imago couples therapy.  After rereading some literature on Imago, I thought it was important to present the space-between concept here.

We think of relationships as consisting of two people but it’s really the two people plus the space-between them.

The space-between is all the intangibles – the words you choose, your tone of voice, your eye contact and body gestures.

These cues determine the experience of both people and ultimately, the health of the relationship.

When you feel connected to your partner, the air between you is safe to breathe.  Conversely, when there’s anger and resentment, the air is thick with judgment.

One of the goals of Imago work is to remove the negativity in that space. 

The space-between is a river both people drink from.  If it’s filled with criticism and blame, the water will be toxic and the relationship will wither.

But if it’s nourishing and clean, the relationship will thrive.

Instead of each person practicing self-care, they need to practice relationship-care – both keeping that space-between pure. 

The space-between needs to be holy ground. 

It needs to be protected.

It needs to be sacred.

If you have a pattern of conflict in your relationships, and let’s face it, most of us do, then there’s a good chance your early childhood experience is rearing its head in your relationships.

To deal with them and move past them, I highly encourage you to pursue Imago work.  It’s foundation is sound and gets results.

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