This might be the most dreaded part of any new relationship.

You’re still getting to know her but you reach a point where you want to know what the relationship is.

In fact, “the talk” is also referred to as “DTR” – Define the Relationship.

Are we casual?

Are we serious?

Are we seeing other people?

The biggest mistake is not HAVING the talk.

We assume we know how she feels based on what she says and does but that’s not the best indicator.


People lie.

They also may not know how they feel about you so they put on a happy face until they do.

The hardest thing about “the talk”, besides having it in the first place, is knowing when to have it.

There is no rule.

But I advise clients to have it when THEY know what they want the relationship to be.

Another good time is before you meet her family or friends.


Because there’s a good chance they may ask you when you meet them.

“The Talk” can be a tough relationship hurdle to clear. 

But having it early on will save you the emotional energy expended when you learn months later that the two of you are not, in fact, on the same page.

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