I have always used this as a tool with clients but just recently learned of it as a self-coaching tool from the folks at endlessoptions.com

That’s right.  This is a tool you can use on your own.

Here’s how it works.

You start with a problem.

Let’s say someone just broke up with you.  You’re upset.  You’re trying to make sense of it.

To work this tool, you ask yourself why questions until you get to the heart of the problem.

“Why are you upset?”

“Because I was in love with her and now she’s gone”

“Why is that upsetting?”

“Because I miss her”


“Because I thought she was the one”


“She made me feel loved”

“Why is that important?”

“I guess because it’s hard for me to generate those feelings for myself?”

This was an actual exchange I had with a client. 

The trail of why questions enabled him to go deeper, understand why he was so upset and, ultimately, to understand himself better.

I was asking the questions but he could have been asking them of himself.

And you can do the same.

“Why” is one of the most powerful tools in your toolbox.

Don’t be afraid to use it.

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