It sounds harsh. I know.
Men, as do women, go through a probationary period during the early weeks of a relationship – just like a new job.
This is a critical time and you don’t want to screw it up with unforced errors.
Here’s what to stay away from:
Complaining – relationships, the job, family – you name it. We all do it. The key here is not to do it in the first few weeks. Doing too much of this too early will brand yourself as a complainer and nobody wants that!
Asking where you stand – “Do you like me?”, “Where do you see this going?” These are the kinds of questions that scare women off. Why? Because you’re not there yet. There will be plenty of time to assess the relationship but only after you get to know each other. Don’t put the cart before the horse! Asking where you stand too early comes off as insecure and needy.
Setting rules – “Don’t call me after 9”, “I don’t do family stuff”. These kinds of rules come off as rigid and controlling – major turnoffs. Be as flexible as you can early on.
The probation period is the first one to two months of the relationship. It’s the time when both people are carefully evaluating the other to see if there is long-term potential.
Doing any of the above, particularly if there’s a pattern, will push her away.
These are ingrained behaviors so they’re not easy to catch.
Just be honest with yourself if you’re prone to these.
That awareness, and some practice in containing them, will help you over time!