This is not a particularly controversial topic.  Men across generations generally acknowledge it is their responsibility to pay for the first date.

Shifting gender roles over the last 20 years has led to different expectations around money in relationships but the research is quite clear when it comes to paying early on.

While both men and women acknowledge it would be appropriate for either to pay, both expect the man to do so.

So why write about it here?

Because paying for a date is part of a broader approach that is often not as obvious.

Social etiquette has always been “If you invite, you pay.”

But in addition to inviting, it’s also your responsibility to plan the date.

And to consistently initiate contact with your date.

Think of it as a dance.

You’re the guy – and you need to lead.

While this is obvious to some, it is by no means universally understood.

Some men can be a little “wishy washy” about this.  Instead of making a plan, they’ll ask the woman, “What do you want to do?”

There’s no quicker way to lose a woman than not taking charge in the beginning. 

No woman wants to lead.  They’re looking to you to know what you want and be decisive.

It doesn’t matter how progressive or independent a woman is, she wants the guy to show that he gives a crap, enough to think through how you will spend time together.

And paying for the date is part of this whole equation.

It’s not about the money.

Paying conveys that you have things covered.

And that is way attractive to females!

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