Is this you?

Do you get too attached to women too quickly?

Men are often the ones who move too fast in relationships and there’s two primary reasons why.

The first, simply put, is sex.

Men tend to make up their mind about physical attraction quicker than women.

We see a woman for the first time and know within the first few minutes if we want to have sex with them.

Women?

They need time. 

They need to feel safe and secure.  They need to feel connected emotionally.  And they have the capacity to become more attracted to a guy as they get to know him – even if they’re not physically attracted to him initially.

Again, they need time.

Not us.  We make up our minds during the first meeting.

It’s only later, as we get to know a woman, that we realize we might have formed our opinion prematurely.

The answer?

Take your time.  Get to know her and don’t rush into sex.

Figure out if you like her first.

The second reason men get attached early is their attachment style.

Attachment theory states that, in order to grow into adults with healthy relating styles, we need to have a reliable connection, or “attachment”, with a caregiver as a child.

If this doesn’t happen – if our caregiver is unable to provide consistent love and safety – we end up with problematic attachment styles as adults. 

This “anxious” style can leave you so worried about rejection and abandonment you become dependent too quickly.

Let me be clear – there is nothing wrong with you if you have this style.  Millions of people have it.

But it is important to be aware of it, and work on it, so you don’t undermine your relationships.

Here are some examples of dependent behavior:

  • You call or text excessively
  • You think about her constantly
  • Your own personal interests and activities fade
  • You get angry when she doesn’t respond right away
  • You try to lock her into future plans like weddings or vacations

Being too into someone, too fast is off-putting.

It signals neediness and she’ll pull back as a result, if not break things off entirely.

If you’re getting attached too quickly because of sex, you can always put on the brakes and slow things down.

But if it’s because of an anxious attachment style, I recommend working with a life coach or therapist.

That’s a deep-seeded issue and will take time.

To better understand your attachment style, read the book, Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it can Help you Find – and Keep – Love

It’s a good read.

Leave a Comment

0