Oh boy do I hate this question.

Wanna make me really crazy?

Add the word “still”, as in, “Why are you still single?

Or perhaps a close cousin – “Why didn’t you ever get married?”

As a guy who’s never been married and over 50, I’m an easy target for these questions and, I’ll admit, I’m especially sensitive to them.

But there’s a lot of guys out there, maybe you’re one of them, who have been divorced or widowed for years and get asked similar questions. 

The question suggests there is something wrong with being single. 

There isn’t.  

For some, it’s their preference.

For others, like me, they wanted to marry but haven’t found their person, yet.

But no matter your reason, the bottom line is this – it’s YOUR reason.

If someone asks you this question, particularly during your first interaction, they’re just looking to find something wrong with you.

And here’s the worst part – they think being single is something you have to answer for.

You don’t.

These questions also imply that ultimately, just about everyone will marry.

They won’t.

More and more people are single today than at any time in history.

People are also choosing to marry much later in life than at any other time.

If you get asked the question, “Why are you single?”, it’s better not to answer.

To do so puts yourself in a defensive position and do you really want to be in that space?

The best posture to take is to turn it back to them.

“Why are you divorced?”, when it applies, is one option.

Another is “Why do you ask?”

There is no right way to respond but making her reflect on her question might make her think twice before asking it again. 

There’s a lot of personal questions we need to ask people we’re dating.  They’re vital to getting to know them.

But they should come from a place of genuine curiosity.

It’s not unreasonable for someone you’re dating to eventually ask you why you’re single.

But it shouldn’t be one of the first things they ask you.

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