A few weeks ago, I opined on the question “Why Are You Still Single?”
Today, I’m reflecting on a similar but somewhat different question – “Why Have You Never Married?”
If you’ve never been married and are, let’s say, 35 years or older, you may bristle at this question, like I do.
And the reason might be because you’ve been asked it repeatedly since you turned 30.
We’re supposed to be married in our 20’s, right?
If we’re not, one of two things must be true.
Either no one found us desirable enough to want to marry OR, we’re not mature enough to commit to that level of responsibility (the Peter Pan principle).
Neither one makes us look good.
When someone makes these assumptions about you, it stings, right?
But make no mistake, they are revealing more about themselves than you when they ask it.
They assume that everyone should be married, and they derive their own sense of self-worth from their married status.
And they judge you for not having the same status.
I am over 50 and never married so you can imagine how that plays in a dating pool of mostly divorced women.
It’s hard to be single in a couple’s world but I wear my “singleness” as a badge of honor.
I take pride in the fact that I think for myself and don’t fall in line with the pack mentality.
And so should you.
The easy move is to get married and slide right into the familiar life most live.
That way you’ll fit in with society and won’t be alone.
Listen, I always thought I’d marry and have a family but I wasn’t going to take the plunge for the wrong reasons.
Those kinds of relationships don’t last and usually end badly.
I take pride in being single – it’s a harder road.
And it symbolizes the way I live my life – with authenticity.
I’ve been in love twice (as an adult) and both times the women didn’t want to marry me.
Have I been with other women who did?
Yes, but I didn’t love them, and I wasn’t going to pull the trigger if I didn’t feel it.
So, I trudge on, looking for the next woman with whom I have that connection.
Am I uncompromising?
When it comes to love and marriage, yes.
And I wish more people felt the same.
Maybe that would lead to less to judgment about those of us still trying to find their person, no matter our age.