In a recent blog I wrote about “How to Connect” or, simply put, how to deepen a relationship.

Eliciting emotion, memories or desires are good ways to do that.

But what if you really feel like she’s “the one”?

How do you go even deeper?

Use deep rapport.

It’s designed to take your relationship to the next level.

Word of caution: this is not to be used with anyone who you don’t feel a real connection to.  You don’t want to go here if you’re just casually dating someone.  They’ll feel opened up, exposed and ultimately, manipulated.

So how do you develop deep rapport?

Empathy.

Empathy is defined as the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

Here’s how it works: you elicit some emotional content by asking her about a past memory, a future dream or something she’s passionate about.  Then you give feedback.

Here’s an example: what was your favorite childhood memory?

She might say something like, “Every Sunday morning was time alone with my dad.  Even if I just went food shopping with him – it was just me and him.  He’d take me over to the bakery counter and let me pick whatever I wanted.  He always made me feel so special.”

Your response would be something like: “Wow, it sounds like you have a real close relationship with your dad.  Your face totally lit up when you talked about him.”

Being able to elicit real emotion and then empathize with what she’s shared, will bring you closer to someone you see a real future with.

Not in a serious relationship right now?

Deep rapport is something you’ll want to keep in your toolbox for when you are.

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