The Friend Zone represents a perception. Picture a woman who has completely excluded any possibility of a romantic connection with you.

She can’t picture having sex with you, and that is at the heart of being in the friend zone.

The criteria a woman use to choose sexual and romantic partners are very similar to those she uses to choose a long-term partner.

In order for women to consider us as viable partners, we must meet this criteria. It’s simply evolutionary psychology.

Women are drawn to men who exhibit financial or social status/ competence.

I wrote about this in a recent post called “How to Enhance Your Status.”

Men who possess these competencies exude confidence, stability, and charisma. These traits alone won’t sway a woman, but with the key competencies behind them, they generate high attraction and keep men out of the friend zone.

How do men come across who do not have these competencies?

They appear needy, tentative, and lack confidence. Men are also motivated by a desire for status. This results in men who are overly accommodating, a tendency that often repels women.

Here’s the deal: If you approach a first date thinking, “I hope she likes me,” instead of “I need to see if she’s a match,” she’ll pick up on that and promptly place you in the friend zone.

To stay out of that zone, you have to work on yourself.

Ask yourself if you are where you need to be, to live the life you want. If the answer is no, then your life needs to look differently. Even more importantly, your mindset needs to change.

There is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to be friends with you. But if you’re continually in the friend zone when you don’t want to be, that’s a problem.

That’s when you start to lose control of your dating life—when you can’t manifest your desires into reality.

What happens when men lose control like this?

They blame outside forces and start to think, “The odds are against me,” “Dating sucks,” and “Women are crazy.”

But it’s not outside forces. You just need to be better.